I have gotten a new job that works with my nanny schedule! Yay! Front desk reception for a hair salon and I've only worked two days and I already love it to pieces!
I have been as active as my ankle/foot has let me and friends, let me tell you, it has let me! If you have ever visited metro/east valley Arizona you have either heard of, been to or seen the lovely Superstition Mountains, home to Lost Dutchmans park! So my friend of eight years and I decided to conquer trail number 56! Yep. My post title. Hehe.
On a different yet still related note, I promised y'all yoga. Now, keep in mind I don't know all the poses or even half of them, I don't know know all the names and even all the history! There is SOO much I don't know about yoga and I'm not here to teach you what I don't know. In fact, you will probably teach me more than I have to offer. I'm here because my yoga journey has pushed me to be. Well, that and I love writing and can't seem to find myself writing about anything but yoga.
This journey has been hard for me because it's so easy to get discouraged. It's so easy to spend five minutes on Pinterest or Instagram and realize that oh me, oh my, I can't even almost do that! That used to scare me so much more than I would admit, failing at this art I was falling in love with. Well, then something wonderful happened. I came across miss Adriene from yoga with Adriene. Not only was she Texan, but she was inspiring! I instantly dove into her videos and loved her "do what feels good," attitude. It's so gosh dang yoga. Feel free to argue that with me but in my journey, short as it might yet be, I've learned that doing what feels good is absolutely essential in everything I do every day!
And with that discovery, my life has been the greatest adventure.
I have the biggest problem with doing whatever I can for the people in my life even when I can't. Literally, cannot and should not. Yet, I do. I stretch myself thin to the point of tears and stress that no person with anxiety on my level should do to themselves, ever. But I do it. All the time. I have friends and family with children or that need help with this or that and it never mattered to me if I didn't have the money, time or means to do it, I was gonna do it no matter what. I would be late or stressed or frantic, but I was going to help. I could not say no. It was killing me. That's dramatic but it really was affecting my life, my relationships and my confidence negatively.
So, doing what felt good was basically a new concept to me. Last summer, I started practicing that concept. That amazing, lovely and life changing concept. And you know what? I said no. I stood up for myself when my family member stood me up in the most awful way at 4am. I took that last straw and tossed it out the window on my way home that morning. I finally began saying no to people when I couldn't help them even if I wanted to say yes. I finally learned to accept help when I needed it. That was probably the most challenging for me, I hate being helped or feeling like I needed help(bless all my poor doctors hearts). People started thinking I didn't like them or I was angry or short tempered because I did stand up for myself so much more. I wasn't. I have been hardly angry unless I actually am angry but usually not when they thought I was. I've been happy. I've been confident. I've been able to breathe.
I've felt good.
It amazes me to know my journey has just begun.
Oh and if you ever doubt yourself on poses, give yourself time. I know that's cliche, but time really does fly when you're healing. :)
